The End of an Era

This post is straight up dedicated to Jill Robinson.

    This post will probably reduce my readership by about 75 percent, because girls are the only ones kind enough to read my blog. So here's to you, Ms. Robinson.

     I've decided to stop reading the news, it's depressing and I'm getting sick of being sad all of the time. But Yesterday  I read news that didn't just make me sad, it made me sick. Now to my male readership, this is bad news for you, bad, horrible, terrible, news that shouldn't be read. But you have to read on, for there is no other way for me to break this to you. The Cleveland Indians have hired a woman pitcher. Guys, this hurts me worse than it hurts you, I had to break it to you and there was just no other way to do it.
     A woman in the MLB? really? Women take everything manly and just rip the balls off of it, and it hurts, it started with voting, then driving, then you all thought it would be a good idea to go to college and get full time jobs. What's next? A woman pimp? Did we do something to you ladies that made you think you had to take our livelihood away? Do we threaten you? Are you jealous of our rugged muscles? Facial hair? Our tough can-do attitude? Do yo wish you could pee standing up? Why do you want to be men so badly? Can't you just be happy having babies and raising them?
     To help my suffering self esteem, I want to reflect upon a time women couldn't vote or have any job other than babysitter, AND THEY BABYSAT FOR FREE. I want to remember a time where men worked and came home with dinner ready and the kids asleep, and then his woman would massage his shoulders. Women had no political sway and feminism was just a thing of mockery. Women didn't drive and Susan B. Anthony was the butt of any good joke. These feminists/lesbians (they're really the same thing) have screwed up society as a whole.
    
    Not all women are bad, my best friend is a female, and is pretty dope but even still, when a woman is at college and she is majoring in anything besides education, or something artsy, she probably isn't a real woman. With the exception of Mrs. Huxtable, female lawyers and politicians? LESBIAN. (Have you ever seen Hillary Clinton?) 

 *this post is entirely for fun, please take no offense to it. I respect all girls and there are a few of them who I love dearly, but it's probably just because I know that they aren't going to end up ruining a professional sport.