Well, Christmas is over, and that means there is about to be a significantly less amount of crappy music... But that doesn't mean terrible music is gone, it is still abundant and plagues our airwaves. I want to talk about those songs. So here are what I have deemed as the worst songs of the last couple years.
Train, Hey Soul Sister
This song is tricky, it starts out with a cool, calm guitar playing a nice riff, I get excited every time I hear the beginning of this song.. and then the words start.
Your lipstick stains, on the front lobe of my left side brain
That is just weird who, in their right mind, would say that!? It doesn't even make sense. But whatever, it could get better...
I'm so obsessed, my heart is bound to beat right out my untrimmed chest.
This terribly written lyric reveals so much information. A man loves a girl, and has a hairy chest. There can't be more terrible lyrics than that, right?
I'm so gangster, I'm so thug, you're the only one I'm dreamin' of.
Wrong. It's like every verse trys to be worse than the last, these lyrics are so bad they ruin the song.
War, Satan
I worship you, I obey you, I kill for you I die for youFather, Satan, take my soul Satan
Apart from just being straight evil, this encompasses all heavy metal music, its just so stereotypical, and sick. Why would someone want to worship Satan? Don't people know that they are going to BURN IN HELL!? Maybe it's just me, but that just isn't appealing.
America, Horse With no Name
There were plants, and birds, and rocks, and things.Every lyric in this entire song is terribly ridiculous. But let us move on to the worst chorus in music history.In the desert you can remember your name
'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain Don't you hate it when there are a bunch of people for to give you pain? Not only does that suck way bad, but then you forget your name because of all the people for to give you pain, and it's just so hard.
Coldplay, Yellow*
I drew a line, I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do, and it was all yellow.
Apparently all it takes to charm Gwyneth Paltrow is to draw a nice yellow line... For those of you who don't know, Chris Martin, lead singer for Coldplay is married to the beautiful actress.
"Well, Zach" you are saying, "Mr. Martin may not write the best lyrics, but I'm sure he is a really good looking man, you would have to be to marry a girl like Gwyneth Paltrow"
Nope! Guess a yellow line is all it takes. |
*I love this song. I love Coldplay, they are one of my top bands. I just hate a few of their lyrics.
Elton John, Your Song
If I was a sculptor, ha, but then again, no.
or a man who makes potions in the traveling show
It's a little bit funny, the feeling I got inside, it wasn't one of those I could easily hide when I realized that those two lines had absolutely nothing to do with the rest of the song, as much as I love this song, bad lyrics are bad lyrics, and if I am going to write whiney blogs about bad lyrics, I can't overlook even the best of the best.
Billy Joel, We Didn't Start the Fire
I'm not even going to write down the lyrics, because the whole song sucks. I can list off non-specific historical events in order, too. As you listen you think, "maybe he will tie it all together with a good chorus." He doesn't just starts singing about some fire, and how he didn't start it. It's a real crap song.
Finally.
Neil Diamond, I am, I said
I am, I said, to no one there.
and no one heard... not even the chair.
Generally speaking, Neil, chairs will not listen to what you say. They aren't ignoring you, they just don't listen. Whenever I try to speak to my Lay-Z boy it never listens to me either.
Maybe before we write this off as bad lyrics we should consider, maybe Neil has exceptionally intelligent furniture. Assuming he doesn't though, this is just a bad song.
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